Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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