Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
