I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
sex in a hospital.. check
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
