hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
