She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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