Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
