Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
