Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
