fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
