she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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