I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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