Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
