I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
