I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
