Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize
