ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
