mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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