How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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