your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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