I must be too annoying 4 u.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
