i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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