what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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