After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
