i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The beer is more important than you right now.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
