bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
