I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
