3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
