Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
