FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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