The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
