The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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