1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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