I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize