Whoa Z and x make the same sound
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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