True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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