Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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