how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
