Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Every concussion has its silver lining
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
