Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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