did you get engaged???
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
