you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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