Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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