I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
ttyl tear gas
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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