he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
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you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
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It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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