I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
