do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
