mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
