How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
