Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
