when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
