I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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