I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
