Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
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I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
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She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I enjoy the company of your penis
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