Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just found puke in my bra..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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