He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
