can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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