Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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