Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize
