please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
