Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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