Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
