My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
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I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
What a dumb baby whore.
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Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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